Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Brian (a.k.a "Clayton V.") at Terrible Swift Word has received an impatient email back from Dr. Amudo (as part of Brian's ongoing dialogue with a Nigerian Scam emailer) essentially telling him it's time to fish or cut bait.

Said the good doctor:
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH KIDS. I AM 55 YEARS THIS FEBUARY. IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS AND DO NOT WANT TO ASSIST , BETTER COME OUT OPEN AND DECLEAR THAT AND TELLING ME UNEXISTING STORIES.
Of course, Clayton will declear no such thing. Instead, he seizes the opportunity to make amends by noticing that Dr. Amudo's birthday is coming up.

But first, Clayton takes a risky gambit, pointing out to Dr. Amudo that, according to the Internet, there are some business schemes like the one he's proposing that are not entirely on the up-and-up:
Before I put myself on the line for yet another plane ticket however, there is one issue I must bring up with you. And, I apologize for even roaching this subject as you are men (not children) who command good respects and do not joke with your reputation.

...I realize that this is a green accusation that I am leveling, but I must ask - how do I know that what you are proposing is not one of these scams? Again my repeated apologies for even asking. I know how it is: a few bad apples can spoil the whole flock. Once I have received your assurances of good will, we'll no longer speak of this nastiness.
Clearly, Clayton (who has been increasingly affected by Dr. Amudo's tortured syntax) is uncomfortable calling the doctor's integrity into question, as any of us would be. To heal the wound, he sends Dr. Amudo this e-birthday card, which I can only imagine will be received with tears of grateful appreciation.

The card features monkeys on a beach singing (reggae style) the immortal lyrics: "You got another birthday and you gonna get right, You eatin' lotsa cake now, and your pants are tight."

Again, I say, this whole thing needs to be made into a book. Brian fears that the game is nearing its end; I can only pray he's wrong.

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